Cats do what they want, when they want.
They rarely listen to you.
They're totally unpredictable.
They whine when they are not happy.
When you want to play they want to be left alone.
When you want to be alone they want to play.
They expect you to cater to their every whim.
When you call them they never come.
They're always moody.
They leave their hair everywhere.
They drive you crazy.
Conclusion: Cats are small women in fur coats.
※rarely ほとんど〜しない - почти не
※whine ぐずる - капризничать
※cater to 〜 〜 に応じる
※drive 〜 crazy 〜を怒らせる - сводить с ума
cater to every whim - сдувать пылинки
Mother: Why are you trying to feed the cat birdseed? I told you
to feed the budgie.
Son: Well, that's where the budgie is.
※budgie （＝ budgerigar）セキセイインコ - волнистый попугайчик
Mother: Stop pulling the cat's tail.
Son: I'm not. I'm just holding it.
The cat's doing the pulling.
Q: What's the difference between cats and dogs?
A: Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: It wanted to be a first aid kitty.
Q：If there are seven cats on a boat and two jump off, how
many cats are left on the boat?
A: None. They were copy cats.
※copy cats copycat は「他人のまねばかりする人」の意 - подражатели