Olga (nihon81) wrote,

Комикс и шутки на английском с переводом слов

Большинство новичков, похоже, неспособны разговаривать. Они только с отчаянием пялятся на свои руки.

There were two lines at the entrance to heaven: one line for men
who obeyed their wives and the other for men who stood up for their
opinions. The first line was long.
Only one man stood the second line.
An angel came up to him and said: “Good for you, you're saving
the male honor. Tell me exactly how you came to stand in this line.”
The man said, “I don't know, my wife told me to stand here.”

※Good for you よくやった - молодец!

Three married couples - one Jewish, one Irish, one American -
all died on the same day and arrived in heaven. St. Peter was waiting
at the gate to take down their names.The Jew told St. Peter about all
the good works he had done, then said his wife's name was Penny.
“I'm sorry,” said St. Peter, “but I can't admit anyone with a name
connected to money.”
Next was the Irishman. He too told St. Peter of his many charitable
works. Then he said that his wife's name was Brandy.
“I'm sorry,” said St. Peter, “but I can't admit anyone with a name
linked to alcohol.”
Hearing all this, the American guy turned to his wife and said,“Fanny,
I think we may have a problem.”

※St. Peter 聖ペテロ(天国の鍵を持つとされる)- Апостол Пётр
※admit 〜を受け入れる - принять
※Fanny 小文字では「お尻」の意 - это такое имя, а fanny - зад (грубое)

A boy walked up to the priest after Mass and handed him a dollar.
The priest told him he should give it to the poor. “That's why I
gave it to you, Father, because my dad says you're the poorest preacher
we ever had.”

※priest 牧師 - священник
※poorest preacher 説教が下手な牧師(「とても貧乏な」の意と掛けている)
Мальчик подумал, что папа подразумевает беднейшего священника, а на самом деле тот сказал "худший проповедник".

Tags: английский, шутки

Posts from This Journal “шутки” Tag

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Когда гуляли в горах, увидели кафе и бегло посмотрели объявления на первой фотографии. Справа написано "ванко-но удон". Я очень хотела попробовать местный удон (лапша такая) и подумала, что это его название, в Киото, например, ела "кицунэ-удон" (кицунэ - лиса, ванван - это…
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