Если вегетарианская диета помогает похудеть, то почему же свиней и коров откармливают зерном?
A mathematician and a farmer were on a train journey. As they passed a flock of sheep in a field, the mathematician announced confidently:“There are 376 sheep out there.”
The farmer said,“That's incredible! It so happens I know the owner and that figure is exactly right. But how did you count them so quickly?”
The mathematician said, “Very easily. I just counted the number of legs and divided by four.”
※It so happens 〜 偶然〜だ - так совпало, что
Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up, something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?
Doctor: No need for that. You'll find that in your bill.
※stir 〜 up 〜 を奮起させる - встряхнуть
※prescription 処方箋 - рецепт
The teacher was trying to get his class to write a composition on a subject they all liked. Since most of the kids liked sports, he asked each of them to write a paper on baseball.
When the papers were handed in, the teacher was pleased with all of them - almost all of them.
One student had written a composition on baseball in just three words: “Game rained out.”
※composition 作文 - сочинение
※rained out （試合などが）雨で中止になった - отменить из-за дождя
The best way to woo a woman with a past is with a present.
※woo 〜を口説く - соблазнить
※with a past 訳ありの - с прошлым (present - "подарок" и "настоящее")
Q:What is the best thing to eat in a bathtub?
A: A sponge cake.
bathtub - ванна
sponge cake - бисквит (sponge - губка)