Только не собака, только не собака!
A man was driving along the road when a cat suddenly ran out in front of
his car. Unable to stop in time, he ran over the cat and killed it.
Feeling guilty, he looked at the address on the cat's collar and set
off to relay the sad news to the animal's owner.
An old lady answered the door. “I'm very sorry,”said the man,“I'm
afraid I've run over your cat. I'd like to replace it.”
“Sure,”said the old lady. “How are you at catching mice?”
※ran ... of 〜 〜の前に飛び出した - вылетел перед машиной
※in time 間に合って - вовремя
※ran over 〜 〜を（車で）ひいた - переехал
※relay 〜 を伝える - передать
A cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it
look like the dog did it.
motto - девиз
※(have) done wrong 悪いことをした - пакостить
Rose: Mom! Our art teacher sure is stupid.
Mother: What makes you say that?
Rose: I drew a picture of our cat and the teacher didn't know what it was.
A family of mice was surprised by a big cat. Mother mouse jumped and said,
“Woof, woof!” The cat ran away.
“What was that, Mother?” asked baby mouse.
“Well, son, that's the reason why it's important to learn a second language.”
※Woof 犬の鳴き声 - гав-гав
Q: What's the best thing to wear to a coffee shop?
A: A tea-shirt.
Q: What did the baby echidna say to the cactus?
A: Is that you, Mom?