Любой мой подписчик в Твиттере уже знает, что я делал прошлым летом.
A husband was relaxing on the sofa watching television when he heard his
wife's voice in the kitchen.
“What would you like for dinner,sweetie? Do you want chicken,beef or lamb?”
Surprised, he answered, “Thanks! I'd like chicken.”
His wife replied,“You're having soup. I was talking to the dog.”
※was relaxing のんびりしていた — отдыхал
A wife asked her husband, “What do you like most about me - my pretty
face or my sexy body?”
He looked her up and down and replied quietly, “Your sense of humor.”
Steve: How come you're going steady with Helen?
Jack: She's different from other girls.
Steve: How so?
Jack: She's the only girl who'll go with me.
※(are) going steady with 〜 〜と付き合っている — встречаться
A jealous boyfriend catches his girlfriend whispering quietly into
her cellphone very late one night.
“Are you cheating on me?”he asks her angrily.“Is there someone else?”
The girlfriend laughs and replies,“Do you really think I'd still be
dating you if there were someone else?”
※catches 〜 に気付く — ловит
※Are cheating on me? 浮気しているの？Ты мне изменяешь?
Q: Who writes invisible books?
A: A ghost writer.
Ghost writer - литературный негр
Ghost - призрак
Q: Why did the student put on lipstick and eye shadow during class?
A: Because the teacher said she was giving the class a makeup test.
※invisible 目に見えない невидимый
※put on 〜 〜を付ける、塗る - нанести
※makeup test 追試 — тест для пропустивших занятия, дополнительный тест
makeup - макияж