Olga (nihon81) wrote,

Анекдоты на английском: чёрный юмор

Я хотел бы запланировать 9 похорон.

Вот уж, лучше не придумаешь. Она была моим жизненным наставником!

A man who hadn't lived the best kind of life had passed away. At his funeral,
the pastor gave a nice description of the man, saying what a good husband and
father he had been.
After listening for a while, the wife leaned over to her daughter and whispered,“Go over there and see if that's your father in that coffin.”

※had passed away 亡くなった - умре
※pastor 牧師 - пастор, священник
※leaned over to 〜 〜に体を寄せた - склониться над

Tom came home from school one day only to find the rest of the family gone
and all the doors locked. He looked under the doormat where the spare key was
usually hidden, but it wasn't there.
Next, he tried all the downstairs windows, but they were locked,too.
Finally, in desperation, he climbed up a tree next to the house and managed to
get inside through an unlocked second-story window.
Once inside, he found this note from his mother on the kitchen table: “Tom, I
have to go out shopping. You'll find the house key in the mailbox.”

※in desperation 必死の思いで - в отчаянии

Ted: Look, Mary, why are you always trying to impress me? So you spoke to the
waiter in French. What good is it to know French? Waiter! What did she tell
Waiter: She told me to give you the check, sir.

※impress 〜を感心させる впечатлить

Q: What do a toucan, a pelican and a taxman all have in common?
A: Big bills!

※toucan オオハシ - тукан
※bills 「くちばし」と「請求書」の意味がある - счета и клюв

Tags: #английский, #шутки, английский, шутки

Posts from This Journal “шутки” Tag

promo nihon81 april 11, 21:01 3
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Недавно предлагала угадать, что означает LUV в интерпретации японца. Вообще у этого слова такие значения: luv [lʌv] сущ.; брит.; разг. 1) детка, малышка, душечка Come on, luv, don't cry. — Ну-ну, детка, не плачь! 2) целую, с любовью (в финальной части электронных писем, смс- и…
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