Даже если ваша собака делает свои "дела" в подвале, вы всё равно не можете списать это как расходы на офис.
A dying man, who had no surviving family members, summoned his accountant
to his deathbed.
He said, “When I die, I want you to have my remains cremated.”
“And what would you like me to do with your ashes?” asked the accountant.
The old man replied, “Put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal
Revenue Service with a note saying, “Now you have everything.”
※summoned 〜を呼び出した вызвал
※have〜 cremated 〜を火葬する кремировать
※Internal Revenue Service 国税庁 Федеральная Налоговая Служба
Wife: What's more clever than speaking in several languages?
Husband: Keeping your mouth shut in one.
Doctor: Cheer up. I've had the same thing myself.
Patient: But you didn't have the same doctor.
Wife: Thank you so much for making this house call to see my husband.
Doctor: Think nothing of it. There is another man in the neighborhood
who is sick, and I thought I could kill two birds with one stone.
※house call 往診 вызов врача на дом
※kill ... stone 一石二鳥 одним ударом убить двух зайцев
Mary and Jack went into their parents’ bathroom and noticed the scale
in the corner.
“Whatever you do,” said Mary to Jack, “don't step on it!”
“Why not?” asked Jack.
“Because every time Mom does, she lets out an awful loud scream!”
※scale 体重計 весы
※step on 〜 〜 に乗る наступить на
※lets out 〜 （叫び声を）上げる испускает (ужасный вопль)