Скажи доктору, что я слишком больна, чтобы принять его.
A distraught investor called his financial adviser.
“Is my money really all gone?” he wailed.
“No, no,” the adviser answered calmly. “It's just with somebody else.”
※distraught 取り乱した - обезумевший
※wailed 嘆いた - завопил
Teacher: Why are you late?
Bob: There was a man who lost a hundred-dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Bob: No. I was standing on it.
bill - купюра
A nice old gentleman aged 70 got a good report from his doctor after
his medical examination, and his doctor asked him how he kept in such good
“Well, sir,” he explained, “when I got married about 40 years ago,
my wife and I made an agreement that if I lost my temper she would
stay silent until I calmed down, and if she lost her temper I would
leave the house until she calmed down. I credit my good health to
the well-known advantages of an outdoor life.”
※(in) good shape 体調が良い - в хорошей форме
※made an agreement 約束をした - договорились
※lost my temper 怒った - разозлился
Marriage is like a midnight phone call.
You get a ring, and then you wake up.
A Hollywood star boasts he's been happily married for 20 years
- but only if you add up his five marriages.
※get a ring 「電話を受ける」と「指輪をもらう」の意味がある
двойной смысл: "вам позвонили" и "получить кольцо"
※boasts 〜と自慢する - хвастаться