Вывеска: Обручальные кольца
"А что если она откажет? Вы компенсируете мои расходы - или выйдете за меня?"
Больше всего понравилась первая шутка.)
Old Bill falls in love with old Mary and decides to propose. A stickler for
tradition, Bill takes Mary's hand, gets down on one knee and tells her there
are two things he would like to ask her.
“What's the first?” asks Mary. “Will you marry me?” says Bill.
“Oh yes,” says Mary. “What’s the second?” “Can you help me get up?”says
stickler - приверженец
gets down on one knee - опустился на колено
A young soccer fan had a lousy seat at the stadium, right behind a pillar.
But he spotted an empty seat with a much better view a few rows along, and
so he made his way there. When he got there,he asked the old man sitting in the
next seat whether the empty seat was taken.
“This is my wife's seat,” the old man replied solemnly. “She passed away.
She was also a soccer fan.”
“I'm terribly sorry to hear of your sad loss. May I ask why you didn't give
the ticket to a friend or a relative?”“They're all at the funeral.”
※lousy ひどい - паршивое
※spotted 〜を見つけた - нашёл
※made his way 進んだ - направился
※solemnly 厳かに - торжественно
Park ranger: What's wrong?
Old camper: I have a camouflage tent.
Park ranger: What's wrong with that?
Old camper: I've looked everywhere for hours and I still can't find it.
※Park ranger 公園管理者 - смотритель парка
When she tells me her age, I believe her - why not? She hasn't changed her
story for five years.