Аллё. Хочу вызвать такси. Я в заведении, которое называется, хм, похоже на Раб, или что-то в этом духе.
A train conductor is collecting tickets and comes across a drunk man asleep
in his seat. The conductor asks the man for his ticket,but the drunk can't
find it in any of his pockets.
“That's all right,” says the conductor,“I'm sure you paid for the ticket.”
“I'm not worried about that,” the drunk responds.“If I can't find my ticket,
how will I remember where the hell I'm going?”
※train conductor 車掌。
※comes across 〜 〜に出くわす。
Did you hear about the Englishman who was stopped by Australian immigration
officers at Sydney Airport?
They asked him if he had a criminal record.
He replied, “I didn't know it was still necessary.”
※immigration officers 出入国審査官。
Раньше англичане отправляли в Австралию преступников.
A girl turned to her fiance and said: “When we get married, I want to share
all your troubles and worries.”“That's very kind of you, darling,”he
replied, “but I don't have any troubles or worries.”
She said: “Well, that's because we aren't married yet.”
※turned to 〜 〜の方を向いた。
Sardine fishermen buy special fishing nets from the tax office.
They allow big fish to swim through and catch all the little ones.
※big fish 「大物」の意もある。
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals that are.